[Music]
Right customs forms now for those of you
that carry it says on this form which
those of you that can write I've already
filled in at all comfortable must be
declared so get the filled in and
dollars have any missing about my travel
with him before and I'm not taking that
chance are you gonna declare everything
what else can I do that's the same with
me boy use your lover got it in Japan
come y'all eggy
what's your placement paintable Bynes
you've been done I sorta gonna put down
to my form I'm gonna cigarette to be go
190
oh you're allowed 200 I've no made of
money this yours no no it's for my
mother.
Oh is she a dancer no she's not
all right here did you oh look I'm just
counted them
oh we assumed Liang Shan a canoe ste
another 24 hours and Cherie now be
married and Albert you only are packing
it and how you get on without me who's
gonna save you from the girls now I well
but you can't find that women scared me
to death
awful possessive and awful expensive
mind you I I'm not saying that I don't
find them attractive but I'll know give
in to my weakness so I tried to keep up
with our way what do you think I haven't
noticed
well the trouble is the Mona tried to
convert her that way them all they seem
to get into my the sooner you're married
amount a danger the better
oh but the nearest I'll ever get to bein
married as being your best man yeah so
rot for you you already got a family in
a place to get back to I hadn't but it's
gonna be different now just think canoe
ste a wife a dear little house how
that's what married life means to me
home sweet and when he does get even
eaten think he's nothing cause I'm like
ma surely maybe going to be his wife.
I've said it once and I'll say it again
he's not going to ever cushy Tommy
thinks is hey yeah you listen to what
I'm telling you and you're going to have
to pull your socks up a bit instead of
training around the places that he was
nowhere and ever knows your notes but
you might try a bit are there not to
show it
yes Emma or put it down he... they own it
you're going to drive me into my grave
now the turn this weddings over I shall
be a copse but nobody need going to
mourn for me because I shall be happy
for the first time in my life
it'll be Evan to be it Evan until you
arrive well don't just stand there do
something yes and you make the tea no
our night kids
baby don't forget to put the tea in the
pot and when you've made the tea you
better get yourself down to the florist
and shake them up a bit
tell them if you don't leave once those
bouquets round here at 10 o'clock
tomorrow Moni another minute later and
if they're not here they'll be around
they won't forget in a hurry and Eadie
tell him I want fresher flowers and they
put in that rate for mrs. Oakes funeral
last week and after that you better get
yourself down to the car
find out what's happened to the cake if
it's not here with an hour for now have
to be down there myself and if I don't
go down there there'll be trouble just
say missus only it says that should be
enough they know me yes Anna
even if you don't get this some on me in
the front doorbell
well going on sorry I'm just going in
her
take your time II D do take your time
don't hurry yourself whatever you do it
will be a shame to hurry you and don't
stand talking for an hour just find out
what they want and come and tell me are
you the bride's mother no I'm only her
aunt my aunt Edie Edie what are you
doing I thought I told you not to stop
talking in the door can you hear me Edie
the petals falling over
blimey that's the bride's mother without
the bridegroom
it's come what's come the wedding cake
here but should I open it y'all just go
and fetch that teapot I could do with a
cup.
I suppose there is a cake which the
beautiful beautiful now then don't you
start I can't help it Emma it's bringing
it all back to ya won't go into that now
where's the teapot oh I put it down
somewhere now where the dollar oh yes
it's on the sideboard oh look at that ad
only two haven't got the brains you is
phone with no more sense they're not
teapots out of the Polish side fold just
look at that big white ring Otunga stout
afterwards Oh to wit your triumph get it
out now go and fix the furniture polish
hurry and what are we putting on with
and knickers here we are dinner now come
and watch now there you do it you wrap
around around until it gets free Lots
and you go on rubbing it in my free day
yes Emma no you'll have another ma there
in a minute
I don't know you're always moaning
course you'll never got married but lord
knows what sort of home you know that if
you add here what's the time I shall
never get everything finished by the
time their train arrives
I do wish tomorrow is over so do I well
it's not your daughter that's getting
married
lieutenant missus like Emma it's only me
he polishing all up ready for tomorrow
anything the great day
oh you're just having a cup of tea well
it doesn't mean to disturb you I suppose
you better have one Centuria
she's got yesterday that she easy you
know it's not fair working you like that.
Paul but I'm not going to the wedding
mrs. reg your own brother's daughter's
wedding and you're not going she say you
can't no I couldn't bring myself to go
it would bring that too many memories
ah yes I see what you mean how silly of
me
just standing watching Shirley at the
altar rails remembering the day when you
yourself don't don't
mrs. A unless you think of my grave
sorry well I'm all ready for the
bridegroom
oh well you know what I mean I've got
the room ready for him and his best man
the one breakfast as well don't they I
see our point of them coming to you to
keep them out of the way
oh yeah but mustn't see surely before
the wedding whatever happens that'd be
unlucky never you mono see Zoey they
come at all
they'll tell you'd notice for up harder
yes Emily well I do hope they'll be
comfortable at my place
they're both sailors they should be used
to roughing it it's not their comfort
tonight but Shirley's happiness in the
future that I'm concerned about yes I'm
sure it must be a worry for you and your
husband Tim he never worries about
anything shift is bliss it ferrets but
there's one thing I won't say and I
don't care who hears me are you
listening Edie if Charlie's marriage
turns out wrong to my dying day I shall
say enemies to blame is that Julie if
you know now suppose you want a cavity
now well I'm not fussy I'm not going
down on my knees to ask well if there's
any in the pot I'll have it Edie did you
feed the vet if y'all keep your mind on
things that really matter instead of
ferrets I should think you give us a
rest from him for once.
Shirley's wedding day tomorrow and old
will it's her wedding not mine well
she's your doctor isn't she so you say
what Oh what about Alex people Emma when
are they coming they out he hasn't got
any he was brought up in a sailors
orphanage she says that's fishy isn't it
heaven knows I've done my best to talk
to Shirley the times I've said to her.
Shirley you know what sailors out
oh here tea please Christmas
why'd you got something a bit smaller
than that yeah I'm sorry I haven't Oh
Jackie I could yeah I wonder could you
bake up half a clown for me honey
without small James well that's the most
dangerous condition I'm on the trace
fire killing outside posture clock they
just make it I just a minute women alone.
I said I've always said it's the uniform.
Shirley's fallen for she'll change her
tune when she sees him without it Oh
cops that all depends over here and up
so lousy down in a suit of dungarees
yeah see what you mean I'm six of them
oh don't use this morning's milk
there's some just on the turn at the
back of the shell oh my goodness look at
the time I love to be off about to put
our reader to bed as well oh is Rita
poorly no no she's just excited you know
being one of Shirley's bridesmaids
well then I'll expect the buy some time
ever you can expect them at 10 o'clock
they're not stopping here all hours.
Shirley I want some rest tonight and I'm
going to see that she gets it
yes well I mean she won't get much
tomorrow night that's right
I don't comp lit Rosie Oh busy I guess
yeah well is everybody to the fantasy of
course but made myself personally I'm
not very partial to fete it so they're
very nasty habits I'm told what is a
matter of fact they have I remember one
summer to be enough of that thank you
mister on it yeah there's weather that's
finished fishing yeah where is it
not under your skirt is it Barney chard
that fitted you might let me have it
back
hello there.
Oh Edie take this thank you one it's
safe oh that's better
I shall feel a lot better when you've
got your self sat down out of arms way
and Edie don't stand there holding it in
your arms till it melts put it down
weren't you supposed to be hot to have
some milk for Henry
[Music]
Eighty on it I could kill you I didn't
know she didn't as a matter of fact I
did it so it was you was it but just
look what you've done
burnt a big whitening on my solid bold
let me know he was here they're not bad
news truck was fast enough well it is
good to see ya
nice eh I thought you was being your
best man with you good roll canoe ste Oh.
Cano ste I forgot all about it.
Oh four and six here I'm not trying to
buy your blinkin taxi here just you let
me down to the police station we'll soon
find out the legal fair go I viewed you
want another free ride free horn now
what's going on it give me the money
stopped me for in six I'm on consignment
yeah yeah I tell you I'm on in size far
too much make your take before don't
know catch me again though did your
money go down with the pub you English
economy illness
oh ma meet the one and only canoe ste oh
thank you things off and please indeed
to meet you off how do you do
and is aunt Edie for you the pride of
the re I'm happy to meet you aunt Edie
how did you
nothin car a car new ste that's right
now city dude head down
I expect you could do with a cup of tea
oh I could that it isn't ready yet
oh well I better go to look after Rosie
make yourselves at out well that's my
girl
as the future mrs. Albert Tufnell now
she loved me as much as she used to she
loves you as much as she's ever likely
to I should getting excited about
tomorrow I am now there now been enough
of that
hello canuse we better get unpacked you
needn't bother yourself I've arranged
for you both to sleep next door at mrs.
Legs hmm well sure idea mom I haven't
got the room for you we're putting my
niece Daphne up she's going to be
showing his chief bridesmaid oh yeah
she's a bit of all right and she ma
she's my sister's daughter if that's
what you mean oh no I didn't besides I
say it's unlucky for the bride groom to
see the bride before the wedding and
ever knows things stop black enough as
it is but that I asked him for trouble
hey-ya canoe ski boy have I asked for
trouble
hey with a woman like y'all you know
what marrying her if you had been all
but I would have strangled you below and
hurt someone at the front door so I go
no you stay where you are go I don't
want your big feet Pat it and you can
put them boasters of yours tidy hello
our demo how are you I'm very well thank
you Daphne
come in peach you're the best man so
she's yours Oh yours oh I didn't know
the fleet was in I'm Daphne and I'm
Albert the bridegroom you know the human
sacrifice
you don't waste too much time do you
weld it well if you think I'm fast I'm
the tortoise meet the hare canoe ste oh
it's you
hi it's me instead of talking nonsense
of either of you two could half-a-crown
that's what you wanted wasn't it yes the
city taxi driver had no change half a
crown canoe ste well again half a coon
quick oh here Dino meter half Coon come
on.
Thanks a lot Carnoustie remind me to
give it you back won't you remind you I
will twice do you mind giving that to
the man yeah okay he's charming isn't he
aren't Emma I'm sure he makes Shelley
very happy oh you're an astronaut for
keeping aunt Edie it's four years since
you last saw me RDD little girl you were
definitely will change I'll go upstairs
for a wash of course not.
Edie you've forgotten the knives and
forks would one of you mind oh oh
stand back eager well aren't you cat but
a never I'm curious oh you get your
money too Oh
what are you sitting here did you say
you wanted a new pair of pants
oh I'm sure there's nothing to be
ashamed about
don't scotch girls wear panties I
wouldn't know well don't you believe it.
Daphne come on Carnoustie give a hand
damn now I've let it my stocking oh what
a shame can I uh I'm sorry if I've
interrupted something
how are you dad I'm fine I've leaded my
stocking having fun aren't you surely
Albert
how'd you going to introduce me oh yes
of course huh surely this is canoe steel
I can establish surely how'd you do.
Lenny please pleased to meet you so
right mr. Bligh you can finish dressing
now long have you been here Oh about 20
minutes is Daphne here too you've been
passing the time pleasantly haven't you
would you mind not in the least
oh I come for him but do you want to be
left alone.
[Music]
Neppy I don't know I wasn't and I came
in and saw you and Daphne and that
disgusting scotchman standing there with.
Daphne's thingamabobs in his hand as.
Bold As Brass and you're just as bad
even worse heaven only knows what you
were up to
listen Shirley I'll give you my word we
wasn't doing anything wrong well I could
be anyway with your modern art et
bobbing in and out so they hadn't been
for them bobbing in and out as you say
heaven army knows what would have
happened now listen darling I didn't
matter as well I can't even perhaps it
is five minutes more we might all have
been rolling stop naked on the earth
rack oh this is a nice kick off isn't it
what have I always said if he has you
crying your eyes out on your wedding Eve
what's he going to do when he's been
married to you for five years a little
misunderstanding mark oh a little
misunderstanding is that all there'll be
lots more little misunderstandings very
soon if I'm any judge well you can
settle them elsewhere if you don't mind
tea won't be behalf an hour and I don't
want to see either of you until then
where's Daphne she's gone upstairs and
where's your um car Nestor oh he's going
with her what penalty.
Carnoustie be careful mrs. Harmon I was
only trying
mrs. only Helena told my daddy stairs
into the car
where are we going that's if I'd like to
know let's go up to the pop Albert
needn't be so quiet about mother she
isn't always like this good lord I
should have not well she's got all the
worries that the wedding hasn't she all
right all right listen Shirley when we
get back from our honeymoon we have to
go over to bad Carson right away and
have a look around we've got to find
someone to live over there even if it's
only a couple of wrongs I mean we don't
want to start our married life living
with other people do we that gets you
nowhere we can talk about that after
tomorrow we've got plenty to think of
nah yeah I should say so
[Music]
Oh this is high that's what it would be
come on sit down
don't it'll be tight time for what sit
down I'll have to be away in a couple of
minutes it's wonderful what can be done
in a couple of minutes but look I know a
quick worker have you kissed the bride
at Carnoustie good heavens knows you
have to after the wedding you know and
then there's the best man's privilege
what's that
you can kiss anyone else you like well
that sounds like a distress signal from
canoe Ste huh it's time you got back
anyhow yeah it's time we got tea over
all of you come and sit down Henry what
are you doing about it sit down and you
too Edie everybody help themselves we
don't stand on ceremony here you don't
need that thing stuck down your throat
and don't let me catch you doing this at
the reception tomorrow either everybody
happy you're not having the reception
here aren't Emma no we're not at.
Banfield's tea rooms many coming on your
side of it
I know I'm gonna buddy coming Albert's
an orphan Daphne yeah that's right an
open with the storms
oh my lobe what's the matter with you
I'm sorry I'm roasting the poor I have
been an orphan at the store surely
there's a lot to be done tonight for you
and me an ad can I help auntie Anna yes
you can and you boys are gonna just sit
quiet and keep out of the way well as a
matter of fact we'd fix to go out ma I
was gonna ask pop to come with us go out
where well that's my ship Tony Morris
lives here and we arranged to meet him
in another bloke 8 o'clock for a drink
oh wow such a man just said we had to
keep out of the way yes but well of
course you must pledge yourself but I do
think it's a pity if all you can think
of the night before your wedding is
drinking no no it's not the drink only
be nice to see the labs see them well
you've only just left we'd be back by
9:00 Ralph lasts now after all Emma it
is his last night of freedom anybody
would think it was kind of prison to
hear you told oh no but but there's one
thing I will say I don't care who hears
me say it if Albertina is off such a
cozy Tom and his married life as you bet
in yours he can count himself lucky and
I hope it shows poor Shirley hear a bit
more appreciation than you've ever shown
me oh dear ma
that's enough then it's settled you're
stopping in but can I up at all even if
I do stay no but I should have thought
it surely said she wanted you here that
was enough.
Emer I don't want to interfere been
dumped well Albert I suppose you'll do
what do you think best you got no sense
you will you keep quiet
but I tell you one thing whether our
butt goes or not you're not going surely
come sit down finish your tea I don't
want any more I'm too upset oh now
listen darling I don't want a list now
but I know how I feel and that's that if
you want to go go
well that's no way to told us just
giving in to him now can't you keep your
mouth shut in Rio me come on sit down
well have you made up your mind what
you're going to do yes
what finish my tea that's right there
you do what you want to do don't make
the mistake I did you won't be into the
corn you sold your own ten Ryo when
going out to my fetish you're gonna do
no such thing
what.
[Music]
Hello there boys come another drink
[Music]
Any sign of the month now I'm not likely
to be until closing done I didn't think
you'd really go out mom well you
shouldn't have let him go you should put
your foot down I told you I did put it
down but he went out just the same
well you'll have to learn to put it down
a bit harder you can't reason with men
you've got a Traynham
mum hmm there is something what's that I
haven't said anything to Albert yet
about number 24.
Oh why not well after tea he was talking
about having a look round for a little
flat well you should have told him then
I was frightened too perhaps I would
have waited till he got here and talked
it over with him I'll just take the tea
things away Emma it's a larita measles
she's got them well of all the stupid
thoughtless Oh No
well she'll be able to put up the
bridegroom now in this best man I mean
I'll have to put meat in the spare room
this is a fine aunt you do isn't it now
what are we going to do oh dear
everything seems to be going wrong what
is the matter with you eh Edie look look
bleeding I wonder whose it is well it
might be yours Edie no dad look like
mine
he beat anybody's it's mine my our front
years ago but I should think it's bled
old it's going to bar now now if you
fought finished cheering us all up ad
perhaps you get these cups and saucers
outside and wash him up yes Emma you and
your tea leaves
yes perhaps it's mine I think I better
go yes I think you ad if you're bleeding.
Art's gonna break let it do it in the
comfort of your own home oh thanks very
much good night all and I better go
round to see if they have a room with a.
Persian crown mum no he can't afford to
go throwing his money away on hotels
those two can sleep here come on Shirley
give me a hand
is that big enough for the two of them
if they don't like it making down sleep
with your father's feelings for all I
care the sooner you find out what it's
like slaving you're inside my house
booth down to the park drinking himself
we debate that I'm gonna change my ruddy
name Henry listen around telling you you
ought to put these on and go straight
down to the redline right
not so fast and if they're not they go
to the lifebuoy and tell Albert and car
named skipper becomes straight back home
off you go and don't go running away
with the idea you can stop down there
drinking you know the state you
understand if you want to drink this
half a bottle of beer I put away in the
cupboard last week you can have that
when you get back if you behave yourself
off you go I'll give you ten minutes and
if you're not back by then I'm coming
right down there after you
ready to get back now
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Oh boy does he totally die as we go we
have to see we're going out to see just
you that is ever nice little song.
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
You did this syndrome you got him in
this state they'd never have dared do it
always own bet well we're all a bit on
edge tonight NASA the least set the bed
array
I'll just see surely for a few minutes
in Kingston our baguette enough next
door you're not going next door y'all
both have to sleep on that Oh blimey if
I'd known that we could stay the night
at odious place you're safer here but
you can get yourself down to toddies
places you call it first thing in the
morning and stay there until it's time
to go to the church.
Henry get to bed I'll just go and say
good night to my ferret's you'll do no
such thing you don't know
I just wanted to see if there was
anything you wanted Albert no oh you
haven't got me pillows oh I'm just going
get look watch your ministers to stop
worrying about well just stop worrying
see I do want you and cheery to be happy
you will be won't course we will our dee
dee
once you get settled dining bad cards -
away from away from here and you must
come over and see us sometimes
you promise aren't you gonna live a
number 24 then number 24 I'm a 24 what
we're new what have I done but I thought
you more just took it for granted you'd
know that surely would have told you
tell me what well but I'd rather not I
don't want to cause any more trouble
you're not moving
did you tell me what the devil you're
talking about you keep quiet on dee dee
you'll have the night of your life
now come on aunt Edie aunt with it well
you see how bird number 24 that's three
doors up this street will suddenly put
up for sale and Emma as your wedding
present put the deposit down with the
building society so that you and Shirley
could buy the house that's all
that's all can I get up now
[Music]
I'm say anything to Emma and sure that I
told you I mean I have less your course
over surely sure to tell you herself
goodnight now this big time
good night
[Music]
I suppose
[Music]
Is that you Albert yeah sure yeah
[Music]
Did you think I wasn't coming down to
see you after what you did tonight Oh
Janine getting popped drunk we didn't
show we met him in the street and
brought him straight home he said he was
trying to cheer himself up well I hope
you don't have to cheer yourself up that
way when we're married as long as we can
get away from the family Albert we can't
go very far away you've got this job in
bad castor and bad cos there's only four
miles away well that's four miles will
serve their purpose very nicely little
place in bad girls day darling don't you
see how wonderful it'll be but Albert
I've but what sure what are you gonna
say oh nothing Albert it can't have been
important I'm Kenny no when I suppose I
would be getting off to bed I love your
show tell me you'll always love me even
if I'll always love you
[Music]
I wish your tell me something sure what.
Devi's in your mind I love you Albert.
Tufnell and I always will
there nothing else to tell me isn't that
enough I suppose it have to be
my diet.
[Music]
I'll go tell ya we probable too many
more visitors do you think or something
sir
lock the door if you there is niet key
looked I'll just go and wash
[Music]
And so we had looking contraption this
Albert what side you want to sleep on
fuzzy you're sleeping the port you sleep
at all.
[Music]
My bloody neck the nice carry on our
wheel saying as if it wasn't enough but
I've got your daughter's wedding on my
hands and a couple of sailors I'm
landing with a drunken husband as well
but there's one thing I can promise you
you're not going to be allowed to forget
tonight not to your dying day
look at my face look at it look at them
lines and the day I married you my skin
was like peaches and cream but there's
one thing I will say I don't care who
hears me
are you listening me it's you and you
and loan that's wrong this alyc open
yeah Yola got me a real line when you're
on your honeymoon and let me know how
you're getting on yeah sure no details
no in just the ageneral outline I'm
special be thinking of me keep my
imagination well under control.
Christie hey she didn't say anything
whatever fine that house did you know
she had it's a bit of a problem.
Hey yeah Ken the best we had your little
problems are that huh
sleep in them
I'm sure.
Kanoe ste alright the light
what about it it's armed
well pet I do't switches on your side Oh
[Music]
Here's Emma
[Music]
You're not going to love their old guys
sleeping ego if you've gotten a grasp of
it up with it and when you fist up so
you can get downstairs and see those
boards Tommy out the mess that I made in
the power now every your child is on him
back there on the floor where do you
think your Barry I just wanted to work
with show it you're not going to see her
until you meet in the church
oh ma sure stay where you are Shelly
downstairs
once you're to leave this house and go
round to your friend's place straight
away that's the way you wanted
[Music]
Yeah mommy what's your name Emma will I
do.
Oh Daphne you look wonderful
thank you can do stick my I'm not much
of a hand at expressing myself but go on.
Bobby burns you're doing fine well I've
never seen anyone look so so go on don't
stop here as lovely as Daphne oh yeah.
Daffy your slip showing weren't you
supposed to be helping Shirley's dress
off you go yes Aunt Emma are you nearly
ready the minute your taxi gets here to
get yourself down to toddies and pick up.
Albert did happen give me the ring
before he went have you got in a safe
place hub where is he in my pocket let
me see it let me see it
[Music]
I suppose it could be gold
yu-er Emma thank you.
Thank You Lee yes it is such as it is
beautifully beautiful well she's gonna
have the time of her life here if I get
to the wedding at all at this rate -
we'll be lucky if you don't everybody
else will.
[Music]
Have you got to think these were never
coming give me a hand said he wants to
see her bouquet aren't any yeah just be
careful area tissue nearly ready she's
getting on is that surely yes aren't.
Edie well if I'm not in a mental home by
tonight she will be oh there you are
it's time you were ready I gotta go
outside - do as I tell you in case
you've forgotten you're giving your only
daughter away in holy matrimony in a few
minutes time I'll be my taxi misses her
go Oh tell him when he said I will I
want to hear him
[Music]
What do you think you're doing no she's
got to either nil Henry oh now wouldn't
you want a little nourishment if you
just given birth to six of the young
ferrets all right then go and give it to
me click about right here put this on
I'll say it's not me that's getting
married you know no I wish it was then
to somebody else.
Sonia and you coming that's yourself
down and give your hands a good wash we
don't want you going to the church
smelling a ferret so give it up now
upstairs to get myself ready and I've
got about three minutes to do it in no
sight I shall look not that it matters
what I look like I'm only the bride's
mother yeah get rid of us just going
good Hey this must be bringing it all
back to you ad for mr. On it this is a
very sad day for you it is roses just
lost one of our young'uns
you made us dad yes poor little thing
look you didn't go to a famous Hollywood
that sing before thing where's my bag
good morning sorry come put your hat on
I want to see you wearing it before I go
come on hurry there you go they're not
what she's at the Powell as sure as my
name is in my whole it she's at the pole
now are you all ready because we are
yes sir but I'm ready well good morning
mrs. Act oh yes
that's ready now she make a proper nice
bridesmaid of course you should see our.
Rita in that color she can wear it let
me look at you
Henry Oh neat
what look Rosie
[Music]
Love you lovely doesn't she'll unlovely
Emma well even though she is my only
daughter I will say surely love your
beautiful thank you mum darling haven't
you got anything to say yes when I get a
chance you look a fair treat well I'll
say one thing you'll do Albert credit
she'll do Albert Creek I mean to say
what can you do whether except put her
in a straitjacket now we'd better be off
are you all set flora because we are.
Edie come in here will you then get
yourself down the band feels just as
soon as we've gone and see that
everything's just as it should be and do
pull yourself together
we don't you howling the place down and
making everybody think they're at a.
Funeral let me look at you
don't Menand right round your do yeah
you'll be all right shut it up won't you
you won't be nervous will you you won't
be my little girl any longer will you
never mind Emma
you losing a daughter but you again in a
song now come on everybody.
I'm telling you don't make a fool of
yourself at the ceremony
and see you take Shirley down the aisle
nicely right and if anything goes wrong
I should I lose the guy component missus
not some I do wish you keep your cat off
my geraniums.
Daphne flurry get into your taxi laughs.
Edie don't forget to lock the back door
before you leave and if we don't take
your hands out of your pocket and you
can be thinking what you can sign your
speech at the reception and for goodness
sake talk about your daughter
I'm not you're coming right
yeah come on step on it Chris no dad
tell him to go slowly why well you
always keep the bridegroom waiting
[Music]
That's all run to the start
[Music]
Get back you fool what's happened gig
they drive round the square
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What's happened what's the matter dad
don't ask me
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
Drive around the square of games
[Applause]
[Music]
They know they bellowed anyone make him
sorry for this.
[Music]
Yeah I'll put them straight once
beautiful beautiful mrs. That gave
surely that why letterer
a didn't the cupboard under the stairs
for years should have left it there was
a wedding present to her wasn't it
beautiful is this where we come after
the wedding
yes but it isn't after the wedding yet
you want to be at the church go to
church
I'm Chapel myself who's your Teddy Boy
he's a tenable old man you gotta watch
him really your hair could be worse
mud cake oh now do sit down you can't
start yet ravenica over there I'm not
leaving this party's and I'm bug eyed
enjoying yourself.
[Music]
Who will pay for this you see if it
doesn't guilted my own daughter jilted
now you mustn't give my dear whatever
happens don't did why sit down here
that's right
look now put your feet up do you that's
better isn't it oh now do you lie back
and don't talk and we'll make you a nice
cup of tea I don't want a cup of tea I
just want to do it you must never come
at 8 birth till I make it on time oh yes
I never thought I'd live to see the day
when a daughter of mine would mom do you
think we were too waited at the judge a
bit longer if you waited from now until
doomsday you'd never turn up no it's far
as Mellie and your precious out but
capitols concerned you bet it's waited a
bit longer I thought I would have died
of shame as it was all those people
whispering and snickering oh oh that's
better
and poor mr. Purefoy I'll never be able
to face the vicar again standing there
and trying to pretend he wasn't there -
what am I going to do for this you see
if he doesn't I always said he was no
good didn't down one thing I will say
and I don't care who hears me you really
know what's a bit ago in honor - like
that you're only making things worse
than they are already
the tea won't be long I've put the
kettle on oh good I could do with a cup
of tea you could do with a cup of tea
you don't suppose you're gonna sit there
sipping tea do you that's right take
your boots off take your collar off in
fact if I were you I'd pull up stairs
and nippy depend and have a little nap
for a couple of hours
Henry only chocolate on your boots and
your color in your tie and don't go
round for the police station and your
tell them they're going to find out but.
Tufnell if they're to search the auto.
England to do it mum oh don't you do
that well
I aren't what you word very well then
I'll go myself man if you do go the
symbol bang the drum easy I've got to
break something - yeah you now shut up a
minute I haven't told you yet
hey listen ad the wedding's off you
should have seen it when it was all in
one piece don't be so cheeky Oh.
Kanoe ste o'connor's d have you seen him
have you heard anything
no and it'll be everywhere so I've done
my best you're sorry
well that's something I will say I just
want to ask you one question young man
did you know about it
did albert tell you what he was going to
do of course he didn't I'd never be a
party at a thing like that
Albert told me nothing they wouldn't
surprise me if you didn't put him up to
it and what do you mean by that mrs.
Hornet what I say you put him up to it
me rubbish
do I hear proper even if you didn't put
him up to it you must know why he did it
now look I know no more about this thing
than you do I don't believe that you're
most unfair Aunt Emma why should.
Carnoustie know and why should he be the
cause of Albert not turning up anymore
than you if as much and what do you mean
by that deathly pink if you've got
something to say say it don't go
throwing out a lot of nasty and sinew
endows and as for you young men Oh
mother what's the use
yes what is the use that's what I'd like
to know what's the use of having a
mother if you don't take any notice of
what she tells you I won't you about
what's the use of having a father
yes what is the use here here look I'm
not gonna stand here look it's for you
young man
yes for me mrs. Hornet its Albert
I know it's Albert surely you have any
view none of that stop it do you hear
you've got a grain of sin will you be
alone oh there you are easy
she shut up like a rocket will you be oh
what's the thing to say my heart goes
out to you well I let me stop him
because I know you want to be on your
own with your great sorrow so it's
better that's all thanks very much I
needed this well if you'll excuse me for
a minute we will it wasn't Albert's.
Falls it was a fate that's what it was
say choose Albert Fritz - oh she's up
again how that all I'm going to stand of
it Henry owned it listen to me I've put
up with this crap pot sister of yours
for the past 20 years I don't know how
I've done it but I have but I'm finished
you hear me I'm through I've had all I
can stand of our fates teacups a great
sorrow
then I bleed it out and I tell you here
and now that she leaves this house
tomorrow moaning and if she doesn't then
I do mum you can't turn poor auntie D
out it isn't fair
she's upset that's all now don't you
start telling me what I ought to do I
should think you've got enough on your
own plate without bothering your head
about other people you haven't managed
your own affair so marvelously have you
getting yourself tied up with a
good-for-nothing Darbar not from heaven
knows where and making yourself and your
whole family look a fool in front of the
whole town hello Oh.
Oh Albert where have you been I've been
for a walk bean for a walk Albert.
Tufnell are you completely mad no not
least I hope not
I've tried to keep quiet I have tried I
try bit anima what he said try a bit
harder oh but I don't understand do you
realize what you've done
you let me go to the church knowing that
you aren't going to go yes I did never
believed you could have done such a
cruel thing but it doesn't matter if
only you'll tell me you still love me
and want to marry me I love your show
just as I've always done and I still
want to marry you.
Oh Albert I can't stand it watching my
own daughter cheated herself
I don't care mum I don't care if I am
cheating myself all I know is that I
want Albert to marry me and he's going
to I didn't say I was Albert I said I
wanted to not but I was going to what
what do you mean by that
you never really wanted me to marry
surely jamar I never have and I'll tell
you something else
I'd rather give her to the first man who
comes through that door even if he's the
devil himself
amber it's the vicar's mister Purefoy
now come in the front door was open so I
took the liberty please come in mr.
Purefoy Thank You mr. Purefoy this is oh
no no please
actually I think I saw y'all in church
did I not not him you didn't perhaps I
didn't mr. Purefoy this is Albert Albert
how do you do have it good heavens you
mean Albert be Albert the missing
bridegroom missing bridegroom me
something more than a missing bridegroom
mr. pure for if you ask me mr. Purefoy
I'm sorry on all this trouble sir he
says he still loves me but won't marry
me forgive me but I'm a little confused
perhaps if one person could explain us
under that no I did think perhaps that
however yes mrs. Wanted if there's any
explaining to be done said I should see.
Albert's the man to do it
so should I I mean very well mr. Purefoy
let him explain but don't believe one
word he says my reason for coming mrs.
horn it was to offer what comfort I
could to Shelly but it would appear and
give him the opportunity I could offer
her something more concrete now I'd like
to have a talk with these two young
people don't you think it would be wise
if those who are not primarily concerned
but to leave us for a while sit on it
don't sit very well gone.
Oh Albert just call it if you want me
I'm afraid you must think I'm cheating
your houses that were my own mrs. Hornet
driving you all out like this I did
suggest alone mrs. Hamid well we are
alone I meant to do you mean alone
without me
is that what you mean afraid it is if I
go I'll go under protest
I'm sure you do he's the one that's done
the wrong not err he's the one that
wants the talking to Charlie come with
me.
No mum I'm staying here your regret it
you see if you don't you're repetitive
sure as your name's Shirley hold it but
I'm hoping we may yet change it to share
the Tufnell Oh a woman of character mrs.
Han it well now let's sit down jelly.
Albert is there any legal reason why you
shouldn't marry Shannon well I'm gonna
wife in Honolulu if that's what you mean
sir there's really never been any other
girl in my life except Shirley and you
still love her yes sir and surely you
love Albert he knows I do
and Albert Shelly
where the devil it recommends stack
right or wrong it took some courage to
come back and face it Albert's a brave
man you know I'm sure you are to.
Carnoustie brave and strong oh I know my
strength and my weakness
I can't imagine you weak I can't imagine
anyone getting the better of you
certainly not a girl oh oh it all
depends what you mean by getting the
better of me
well being made to do what you don't
want oh there's no fear of that the
trouble is being made to do what I do
want why don't you I didn't turn up at
the church this morning because well for
one thing I was frightened to the future
mine and surely as I mean sir well
whether we can make a go of it or
whether I could I should say I've
thought about it all last night I never
slept a wink last night yes sir
oh good heavens man last night 100 years
too late you should thought about it
long ago but how could I when I didn't
happen till last night what didn't
happen well sir I was brought up in an
orphanage yes I know I've never had any
what you call home life till I gotten
out surely I will spent my leaves at.
YMCAs Union Jack Club Salvation Army you
know sir
mmm-hmm staying here is my first taste
of home life and if what I've seen in
this house is honest to god own life
then what I can say is give me the.
Salvation Army
are you sure you really mean that Albert
home life is so much more to offer than
is to be found in YMCAs and the.
Salvation Army I know it has lots more
to offer my point is that what's offered
to me here in this house I can do very
well without boy your own sense must
tell you that all heavens are nothing
thank every home has its own
characteristics and peculiarities when
it sounds all right its Airy but this
spices our home isn't it but I have
noticed much happiness aerobats but.
Albert when you marry and settle down
your home will be just as happy as you
and your wife make it as we're allowed
to make it sir as you're allowed to make
it I don't follow you I know about the
house Shelly.
Oh mr. Purefoy I played a dirty trick on
Albert I let mum put a deposit on her
house without telling him I wasn't going
to tell him till after we were married
or whatever no well this house is number
24 three doors away from here oh I see I
don't know why I let mom do it without
consulting Albert well that was very
wrong here Shelly and that was why yes I
decided to skip the wedding and come
back here and if Shirley saw things as I
see them and if she loved me enough then
we get married as soon as we could
yes and if only I'd had the courage to
do the same and if you've got off the
sense I think you have my girl you'll go
down on your knees and beg Albert to
marry you then you could tell your
mother just what you could do with
number 24 but Dad
she's put a deposit on it and she could
do the site with the deposit mr. Hornet
really I mean Mr Purefoy I understand my
wife Albert doesn't there's no reason
why he should but understanding her
wouldn't make any difference as far as
he's concerned with me it's different
I'm her husband and she's had a lot that
I have to be very thankful for you have
pop yes I take a look around this room
there's nothing sort of wonderful it
might say but it's almost never be
ashamed to bring anyone to and I've
never yet come home from work and found.
Emmet out of the pictures and affected
the fish and chips waiting for me in the
oven
that's a damn sight more than most
husbands in my position can say that's
very true a pride of mrs. Horne a
dungeon I am sure there are times when I
could bring our blasted Nicky by the
courage
but I am fond of a certain I think she's
fond of me she been listening my god let
me get out of here well I'm still alive
oh don't talk to me I couldn't stand it
up being listening covered everywhere
that's being safe
they say listeners never did any good of
themselves at her feet
funny blimey I'm a wiki woman mr.
Beautiful yeah must be
all the misery of ghosts Henry stick up
for me like that
the man's a joke mr. Beautiful hello man
evil woman mr. pure for what can I do to
be saved I think you're perfect oh
you're a clergyman you ought to know
well I didn't know didn't realize how is
making everybody miserable but you were
misguided in your method of approach
shall we say yes let's say that you see
mr. Pure for you have always had to
manage other people doesn't he love the
dog when she doesn't know what she's
doing any of it done and Shelly
what about Shelly I put the deposit down
on number 24 because I thought it would
be nice for you to have me near you his
o2 guardian are you he say mr. Beautiful
yeah I knew he was a silent will you
know would say I know what this one is
mrs. Hornet he's a grand fella I can
only wish you with my son-in-law yes
your daughter hasn't made a very good
catch for herself as she well oh dear oh
dear there I go again say that guy
faithful miserable Oh mr. Purefoy you
think I'm too old to a phone if I may be
forgiven a platitude yes I'm sure we all
forgive you I was merely going to say
it's never too late to mend where's
Henry RTD is dad there he's outside with
his headaches taurima telling the ladies
coming ferritin coming ask him to coming
will you please play
and I are going to dry your tears come
to some macros in half an hour but what
for
the wedding of your daughter surely
dwell but tough milady Albert darling oh
excuse me sir and thanks a lot for being
so understanding that mom was talking
with a voice of said experience you see
I happen to have a mother-in-law self in
half an hour mrs. Hornet
yes mr. Puri.
Petey said you wanted me yes I do you go
upstairs wash your face brushes up down
and get ready for the wedding
what another witty no the same one go on
in me only when I tell you Henry yes
ever come back now make up your mind
there
have you been drinking I started what
does remembered Eddie I'm just gonna
make a cup of tea I thought you needed
it.
Never mind about the T get yourself down
to Pam fields and tell everybody there
to stop eating there to go to the church
the wedding's in half an hour
oh hey never mind
love what I said never mind up now come
on everybody
I'll be all ready now come on have you
got your bag did you lock the next door
come on now come on Jenny come on Debbie
oh good morning mrs. Monster mallaiah
now come on now could you psyche it off
with it now don't stand out get in dear
cards they're gone I come on Shirley
here we go and drive fast
my duty that why you bad little girl
don't you call my old your childhood our
doc if you're being around Murray don't
you lie out here come on four continents
a different time you like that Ephraim I
know I don't talk to me like that so did
I tell you I'm not a coach you a Jew but
he doesn't mean to say is I'm very proud
I think York I know now to put your feet
up and have a little nap your guys are
saying your speech my idol right if
you've got something to say say it
thank you for saying but about all not
to bear in mind that from now on you've
got to watch your step and behave
yourself proper yeah if ever I catch you
going out drinking with that sailor
again there'll be a different Rickman
but one thing I will say to a hero is
this either you see it Shirley's
marriage turns their own diet
[Music]